Howeird Is That?

As we've already proven day after day, with every analysis of the mythical exothermic auto-reactive active heating properties of CO2, and with every snowflake that falls, global warming isn't happening.

And, as we've seen, when it is happening, it's really not that bad. Many people enjoy "t-shirt weather" and are productive enough members of society to afford air-conditioning. The arctic is coming out of its ice age, completely naturally, offering up a cornucopia of resources and begging to be exploited.

Imagine that you're a vampire, and you've got a cut across your forehead (much like, for example, the newly opened shipping routes on the forehead of the world). It's bleeding, which just means more food for you! That's good, right? But as you sink your pointy teeth into your own forehead, you make the cut wider. Now more blood spills out, and you feast on it with ever increasing voracity.

Eventually, you're nothing but a cut-up carcass, gushing blood all over the place. Do you see the problem with that? Greenies might find some way to turn this into a big problem that eventually needs to stop. But as a vampire, you're just in heaven, with unlimited natural resources just gushing out of your own head.

The world could be like that. Through economics and industry, we could create heaven on Earth.

Let's take a look at the economics of global warming.

Suppose we were to try to stop it. It would cost $75,000,00,0000,00, not including all the lost jobs. And, since global warming isn't happening, it would all be for nothing. Net loss: $75,00,0000,0000,0.

Now suppose that we don't try to stop it.
Cost: $0
Gain in jobs: 100% employment.
Gain in Arctic resources: $50,000,000,00000.
Gain in the stock market: $1000,00,00,00,0000 (at least).
Cost of apology to Australia for completely destroying it: $0

Yes folks, apologies are free, and that's what makes this option so preferable. Net gain: $3,3,0,000000000000 million!

The problem with the greenies is that they see everything in terms of trees or human lives. If they just stepped back and saw the big picture, in terms of real American dollars, they'd realize that when it comes to the important things, not doing a damn thing about global warming is so much better for the economy. And honestly, I'd be just fine with a few billion people dead and maybe the rest of us suffering, as long as the economy is doing okay. Because, without a strong economy, I might not have two jobs (let alone three, which I currently seem to need -- don't let anyone say I don't do my part for the economy!). And without jobs, what's the point of even having an Earth?

I should point out that all of the math here in this post is just simple spreadsheet math, that all the scientists should be able to handle if they have at least 1 brain in their head.

16 scientists have broken free from the Brainwashing Dogma Machine of Science, and have admitted what we regular folk have known all along: Ain't nothin to worry about no global warmins.

A key point that the science community has finally got around to figuring out is something that I've said all along: "The fact is that CO2 is not a pollutant. CO2 is a colorless and odorless gas, exhaled at high concentrations by each of us, and a key component of the biosphere's life cycle."

This reminds of another colorless odorless and yet very key component of the biosphere's life cycle: Water. We all remember how people were duped into thinking that water is the same as dihydrogen monoxide (a dangerous chemical). Now the CO2 hoax has finally been exposed and accepted by all scientists (as represented by the Council of 16).

As we know, global warming "scientists" have warned us about the dangers of water, trying to connect ocean levels to carbon, etc. But think about it, folks. What are you going to drink if you get thirsty and you've finished off the cola and the store isn't open? Water! The dirty little secret about water, which you will never hear from a scientist, is that water is actually a necessity of life! I don't know why they would fear-monger people into thinking that a little extra water is a danger.

Now that there's nothing to worry about with global warming, all the people that the scientists have been scaring can relax. Hey, some can even look forward in anticipation! I mean, who wouldn't want to live by the ocean? And why move, if the ocean will come to you. It's the dream of a lot of people to live on the open sea. Those who will have the sea come to them, and will be living under 10 feet of water without having to move anywhere, are the lucky ones. Here's an idea: If global warming's supposed to drown some areas in harmless, life-giving odorless water, and it's supposed to dry up other areas and evaporate lakes and swimming pools, then why don't the people with houses in low-lying areas just trade their houses for the boats that people have on these soon-to-be-dried-up-lakes? It just makes sense. One group's not going to be needing their boats much longer, and the other group's not going to have much use for their homes under all that water. Now that these people are no longer worrying about what's going to happen, they can get on with economic transactions and everybody wins!

I'm so glad that all of science has finally agreed to see the light. This is the best advice I've ever heard from the League of Science. Just don't worry! Especially if you live in an area that is most susceptible to climate change. If these are your last days on Earth, don't waste them worrying away! And don't worry about me, either. I'm not going to be wasting my time worrying about them. They say that ignorance is bliss, but so is just plain not worrying about things that we just don't know about and don't want to.

I've repeated multiple times on this science blog that we're currently in an ice age. I had no idea that it was actually true! I thought it was just one of the many facts handed to me by some buds of mine in the Industry (I'm not admitting that it's the oil industry, but I will say this: It sure as tar ain't the wind fermin' industry!). But this one's not just a good ol' opinion fact like all the others. This one's so true that it's on wikipedia!

Seems to me, if we could somehow invent a real machine that could keep the Earth nice and cozy (not like those imaginary invisible 2C0s that the scientists are telling us will warm up the Earth using magic), then that's what we should do. For the children.

Folks, I have a vision of the future, and it ain't pretty. Not once the democrats get done with it. The population will be dwindley due to roaming forced-choice abortion squads. People will be in a constant state of depression, as each day they'll check the stock market only to see that it's still down -- as it'll have been for the last few centuries ever since the democrats eventually outlaw the economy. No one will be able to afford high-quality processed foods or premium tv, and they'll all have to get by on simple, local produce and programming.

Now, I don't really care what happens in a few hundred years, cuz I probably won't be around. Sure I want what's best for my children, and even my children's children. But their children can all go to hell, because what have they ever done for me? Squat! So why should I be worried about making sure their whiny butts are just the right temperature... not too cold, not too warm. If anything, we should be messing with the environment, if only we could. Why? Because it'll give those bums a problem to solve. Something to motivate them. We all know that kids are just getting worse. They have no initiative! We gotta light a spark up their whiny butts or they're gonna end up with an entire world full of people on welfare, constantly bothering whoever's left with the decency and drive to still be rich, with their annoying and incessantly repetitive "Spare change so I can get a little something to eat, sir?"

Second, progress isn't about making things better. It's about being better than those who came before. Now, we're pretty good people. We're good at getting oil. We're good at building roads. We're good at shipping stuff from China. If we try too hard, we might unwittingly end up being perfect! Then what will the future generations do? After they're done checking the stock market and being sad about that, they'll remember how inferior they are and how they can't do nuthin useful, and they'll sit on their park benches with their sandwiches, looking glum.

So I guess the Peruvians are complaining of droughts caused by the melting of glaciers due to global warming. Funny, but I thought that if you melt ice, you get more water. You can't explain that!

Obviously, the Peruvians are just catastrophic chicken-little whiners. Just a few months ago, they were complaining about flooding! First it's too much water, now it's too little water. Make up your minds already.

Or better yet, stop whining about it altogether. Things seem pretty nice from my vantage point. If you're getting flooding AND droughts, then on average you must be doing pretty alright as far as water is concerned. Why not just save a little of the water in a pail when it's all flooding and use that when you get a bit thirsty, hey dummies? Think about it!

Maybe Peru's filled with Greenies who think it's "evil" to get their water from technology instead of from a glacier. I'm just glad that I live in a civilized country where I don't have to worry about a water supply. I just turn on the tap and it's there. No need to worry about carrying a bucket up to the glacier every day to get it.

Folks, I take very little overjoyed exuberant glee in digging up the long-buried coffin of AGW just to drive another nail into it, but the warmistas just keep handing me nails!

Yes folks, atlasgate is the latest in a never-ending series of scandals that prove conclusively that AGW is wrong. Those warmosexuals are now printing their own lie-filled atlases.

You may wonder why myself and Dr. Watts are calling a mistake on a map "atlasgate". It is because this and all the other climate-related gates are far-reaching scandals that involve unethical behavior and a huge cover-up.

Think about it, folks. You've got scientists telling us that the earth is going to magically warm up because of some magical invisible trace gas, and you've got atlas makers showing us images of an earth warming up, and you've got temperature records telling us that the earth is warming up. That folks, is what you call a conspiracy.

To me that means that if anyone (those warmerasts are all in it together) makes a mistake on something, it's not due to error but rather due to some sort of huge evil plan to destroy our oil-based economy.

Think about it folks. What are the chances that an atlas maker just happens to make a mistake accidentally? Probably about one in zero. It is far more likely that it's a vast and evil conspiracy of communist democrats and evil atlas makers. And pro-windmill greenoterrorists. And anti-American bicycle riders. And Al Gore.

Oh, our poor beloved but beleaguered science advisor (and/or despised traitor -- not sure which yet) Anthony Watts, is being harassed by left-wing warmunazis on his very own site! Leave Anthony alone!

Dr. Watts has provided a justification for why he added poll options for 4M to 5M sq km of sea ice for a September minimum, and took out the 7M to 8M options, now that the sea ice extent has gone below 5M sq km (I still think a quick freeze is possible -- anyone who owns an ice cube tray should understand how fast these things can happen -- and that 7M is not out of the realm of the possible).

Well the possibility does exist that the final number will be somewhere between 4.0 and 4.5, where it didn’t seem likely a month ago, so adapting to the conditions isn’t a bad thing I guess. It’s like recalibrating your instrument in the field to measure lower values because those are the one coming in. Like I said I’ll be damned if I do, damned if I don’t so I may as well be damned for providing more options.

I have uncovered some very unfortunate evidence that the greatest "real science" website in the history of mankind (according to its visitors) has been infiltrated and overrun by leftist environmental greenish scum. I have tried all the usual things to try to make this discovery go away (including ignoring it, plugging my ears and saying "blahblahblahblahblah" for a very long time, pouring boiling water onto my crouch region to try to wake up from what I'd hoped was just a nightmare, and closing my eyes really tightly for as long as I could), but every time I looked, the evidence was still there.

The proof is in the environmental pudding all over the comments for a story on Watt's Up. The educational/research website's ruler and greatest scientist in the history of the internet (as determined by my own blog poll), Dr. Anthony Watts, appears complicit in the scandal, evidenced by the very fact that he has not censored these subversive comments and excommunicated the commenters or worse, which would certainly be justified.

Read the comments yourself if you have a strong stomach. It is full of environmentalist commies who are lamenting the environmental cost of letting an icebreaker sail to the north pole, breaking up the last of whatever ice is still there. I find these objections repulsive, as it is every captain's god-given right to drive his boat wherever the hell he wants to, whether on land or sea or ice.

It is true that the far north is a pure untouched and clean indicator of mankind's complete lack of effect on the environment, and traipsing about it destroying it all makes that a little harder to see. It's certainly easier to realize that mankind has no effect on the north when we're not even nearby and it's out of sight, but when we're there and actually breaking it all up and you can see it (unlike invisible trace gases), it makes it easier for stupid leftists to mistakenly think we're having an impact. When you see a picture of the open-water wake of an icebreaker stretching across the entirety of the millions of square miles of the arctic, it can confuse even the right.

But folks, it's easy to see that the environmental viewpoint is wrong and an imbecile. First, God would not provide for us all the resources that are eagerly waiting to be exploited there, along with a means of getting around, if He was just going to make it so fragile that it could be destroyed by the simple act of exploiting it. Second, the very fact that arctic sea ice is actually on the rise proves that God has a way to stitch up the ice after we've gone. I'm not saying I know how He does it, just that after we're gone, I can tell you that that ice is going to get stitched up. Perhaps this is what the residents of the north pole do during the summer.