16 scientists have broken free from the Brainwashing Dogma Machine of Science, and have admitted what we regular folk have known all along: Ain't nothin to worry about no global warmins.
A key point that the science community has finally got around to figuring out is something that I've said all along: "The fact is that CO2 is not a pollutant. CO2 is a colorless and odorless gas, exhaled at high concentrations by each of us, and a key component of the biosphere's life cycle."
This reminds of another colorless odorless and yet very key component of the biosphere's life cycle: Water. We all remember how people were duped into thinking that water is the same as dihydrogen monoxide (a dangerous chemical). Now the CO2 hoax has finally been exposed and accepted by all scientists (as represented by the Council of 16).
As we know, global warming "scientists" have warned us about the dangers of water, trying to connect ocean levels to carbon, etc. But think about it, folks. What are you going to drink if you get thirsty and you've finished off the cola and the store isn't open? Water! The dirty little secret about water, which you will never hear from a scientist, is that water is actually a necessity of life! I don't know why they would fear-monger people into thinking that a little extra water is a danger.
Now that there's nothing to worry about with global warming, all the people that the scientists have been scaring can relax. Hey, some can even look forward in anticipation! I mean, who wouldn't want to live by the ocean? And why move, if the ocean will come to you. It's the dream of a lot of people to live on the open sea. Those who will have the sea come to them, and will be living under 10 feet of water without having to move anywhere, are the lucky ones. Here's an idea: If global warming's supposed to drown some areas in harmless, life-giving odorless water, and it's supposed to dry up other areas and evaporate lakes and swimming pools, then why don't the people with houses in low-lying areas just trade their houses for the boats that people have on these soon-to-be-dried-up-lakes? It just makes sense. One group's not going to be needing their boats much longer, and the other group's not going to have much use for their homes under all that water. Now that these people are no longer worrying about what's going to happen, they can get on with economic transactions and everybody wins!
I'm so glad that all of science has finally agreed to see the light. This is the best advice I've ever heard from the League of Science. Just don't worry! Especially if you live in an area that is most susceptible to climate change. If these are your last days on Earth, don't waste them worrying away! And don't worry about me, either. I'm not going to be wasting my time worrying about them. They say that ignorance is bliss, but so is just plain not worrying about things that we just don't know about and don't want to.
Despite my assurances and now the reasoning of all 16 scientists, some people are still going to be complaining to me that CO2 and/or water are dangerous. To them I say, "No. Shut up."
Well if you told me you were drowning, I would not lend a hand. Instead, I would try to convince you that water is a harmless, colorless, odorless liquid that is actually a key component of the biosphere's life cycle. To think otherwise is ridiculous. It's all been a pack of lies.
Hopefully you would get the message and thank me once you got out of that water. Only an idiot would continue to drown after learning that water is actually good for you.
